Created on 2/11/2014 2:43:04 PM
If there's one thing Valentine's Day proves, it's that Americans are in love with love. According to American Express' Spending and Saving Tracker, six million couples became engaged on Valentine's Day 2013. And, as a result of the changing attitudes towards gay marriage with a whole new constituency tying the knot, a record number of proposals are anticipated this Valentine's Day. But how many will be successful in their "Art of the Ask"?
Demystifying the process isn't that complicated. People are afraid of a "no" -- so how can you be sure of a yes? You’ve got to “Know Your No’s!”
Rarely is the initial "No" definite. "No" can mean many things:
- Not now, too soon, I need more time. (Response: I'm in no hurry, I'll wait.)
- Maybe, but I'm scared. (Response: I'm scared, too.)
- Not sure how you feel. (Response: I've never been more sure of anything in my life.)
- Not sure if it financially makes sense. (Response: Let's sit down and try to make a plan.)
- There's a religious/cultural issue. (Response: If we truly love each other, we can work this out.)
- I don't want you to meet my parents/family. (No one wants a potential partner to meet their family, all families are weird.)
- I have a "secret" I don't want you to know. (Everyone has secrets, no one really cares.)
"No" is such a shattering word that upon hearing it, we sometimes crumble, and fold our tent. Don't let go so easily. Effective probing is a technique that salespeople have used for many years to get customers to buy their products. Getting someone to commit to your relationship is a form of salesmanship. Find out what's really going on, and then strategize to seal the deal.